The Altar Family!

Monday, September 15, 2008

Steven Curtis Chapman Family-Maria / and Matt Freeman's Story


This is a photo of Steven Curtis Chapman and his Daughter, Maria. I didn't know much of the Chapman family, other than his music, until I heard of their tragedy in March of this year. This precious girl you see is now with Jesus due to an accident with a vehicle in her own driveway. It is hard to grasp. Why? How can this happen? The Chapman family had those questions and still do. I am sure you can relate to what I am about to say, we hear news about tragic things that happen to families, and see how they relate to an event in our own lives, which makes us want to pray for them, and move on so we aren't reminded of our own pain that was similar to theirs. Sound familiar? Let me get to the point, there is a blessing in this story of tragedy. 2 1/2 years ago I was on my way home from work. I was in no hurry, in fact, I was coming home earlier than usual and wanted to surprise my wife and children. I drove a small SUV. I came up a long incline and atop of the incline there was another small rise in the road. Along the side of the road were several mailboxes as is usually the case in rural areas. As I approached the rise in the road a small child was in between those mailboxes. He didn't see me and I didn't see him. The child sprinted to get across the busy road toward his home which was several yards away from those mailboxes. My vehicle struck this child, there was instant impact as he didn't see me and I didn't see this child as he stepped into the road. I swerved left into the oncoming lane to attempt to avoid contact but it had already happened. I pulled back into my lane and it took me a few seconds for my mind to grasp what had just happened- It couldn't have been. I will never forget the view as I looked in my rearview mirror to make sure and reality hit hard. I sprinted to the child's side. An ambulance came and helicoptors were above and my mind was numb. I knelt beside and prayed alloud for God to spare this young life. They took him away, assured me of my innocence as they saw how shaken and broken I was. It was unavoidable, and no speeding laws were broken, but lives were broken. I tell you this now, because I have not been able to find a way that I allowed to help me feel free of this burden that I now felt as I learned the next morning that this precious child did not make it to his home in Newnan, Georgia but had made it to his home by Jesus' side. For two and a half years, I have not been able to find myself again. It is like I forgot who I was and had to start over again. This child was only 5 years of age, and I my son was 5 at this time also. We celebrated my son's Birthday that same week after the accident. Where and when will I ever find peace in this? People kept saying, God will use this to bless you one day through this experience, and God chose ME as someone else may not have been able to handle this type of tragic event. Nothing made sense- Until recently. There was a Braves game at Turner Field a few weeks ago. Beth, my wife, wanted to go because Steven Curtis Chapman was playing after the game. So many things almost made this concert not even happen. It was as if something didn't want this to happen, but God had other plans! First, we learned that just getting into the game didn't get you into the concert, so Beth had to go buy tickets for it while we watched the game. After the game, the band got set up, the sun went down, and as the band was tuning up and announcements being made, as HUGE storm came in. Lightening, heavy rain and 70 mile per hour winds blew. Several people left, but we hung out. I was there for the game, and wanted to go, but Beth said stay. So, being a good husband, I obeyed my wife's orders. The lightening stopped, the rain stopped, the wind stopped, and a beautiful sky appeared. John Smoltz came out to pray, and Steven Curtis Chapman stepped up by himself with just a microphone, a stool, his guitar, and his bible. I felt like something is going on here! He opened his heart with wounds still fresh from his loss of Maria who was adopted from China. He played some songs and we had church right there at Turner Field. The things he said about how he looks at what happend to his 5 year old daughter, and he was able to explain things in a way that only God could have given him the ability to do. It was meant for me to be there, and I came for the game and wanted to leave. Wow, what a mistake that would have been. God made that storm so strong that we had no choice but TO stay or walk and drive in dangerous weather with my entire family. There are other people who were there by God's design, I am sure, but I am certain that he wanted me there with my family. I left there with the best feeling that I have felt in over 2 years! Steven reminded us "Knuckle-headed" moms and dads that we need to cherish the time we have with our special children, because as his song "Cinderella" says, if the clock strikes midnight, they can be gone. Do they, the Chapmans struggle with this today? Of Course they do. They admit that. Do I still struggle with my experience, of course I do. BUT, with a peace that was not there before that God has provided us. I wanted to share this with you and it is the FIRST time that I have actually put into words any aspect of this event in my life. Please pray for the families that have lost their children who don't have a relationship with God and don't know of the peace that only He can bring in the darkest hours of our lives. God bless and keep you.

4 comments:

Matt Freeman (Host) said...

I wanted to give an update on how I am doing and what steps I have taken- Finaly! I reached a point where each day seemed to be more and more of a challenge just to make it to noon without being completely exhausted, and unmotivated to do anything. I was afraid that noon would turn into 11am and 10am and finaly just closed up at home and not motivated to do ANYTHING. I called a meeting with my immediate direct report, his direct report and human resources. We devised a plan for me to utilize our employee assistance program at T-Mobile, and ultimately use FMLA (Family and Medical Leave Act) to give me an extended leave of absense. Sept. 11th I began therapy with a fantastic person, who by chance was at that Steven Curtis Chapman concert I mentioned! Wow! Anyway, I am now on my leave of absence and taking time for Matt, which I have never been willing to do. It has been tough to break away from work responsibilities, but it is completely necessary and has to be done. I will keep my "thread" going and update this again later on. Thank you for your prayers- Matt

Matt Freeman (Host) said...

Today I wanted to update anyone who is following this with something that my counselor asked me to do. She asked me to do three things actually. 1- Excercise (I have only done that once, yikes) 2-Watch a movie named 'Bella'. It is kind of a low budget latino flick, but it was powerful! If you have ever had happen to you what happened to me, and are trying to heal, you need to watch this movie. 3- She wants me to write in a journal, where else would a blogger addict journal??? Here right? Actually, I am keeping two. One on here, and one in a notebook. That makes up for the lack of excercise, right :-) ? Anyway, the point of 'Bella' and enduring the horrific images that bring back the thoughts of my accident are exactly the kind of things that we need to be able to see, or hear in our healthy lives, and it no longer affect us the way it has in the past. Are we to be ROBOTS and not care when something like that happens? Of course not. This is just one step in the healing process. I am putting trust in her because I am putting trust in God who led me to her. I watched it in kind of a start and stop mode. When I felt I know what was about to happen, I paused it, and came back about an hour later, so it took me about 5 hours to watch a 1 hour, 30 minute flick. BUT I TRIUMPHED and conquered that darn movie, and now I can celebrate a small victory. I think that is a step in the right direction. Thank you for your prayers. I will keep you posted on these small steps along the way, and maybe, somehow, someone can try this too, and help you to deal with your tragic event in a more timely manner than I. Do not wait over 2 years to deal with what happened to you. Start now! In Him- Matt

Matt Freeman (Host) said...

I thought I would share with you my love for music, and how it is so theraputic in times of crisis and so perfect at times in our lives to celebrate with when we are happy. That is why there is a mixture of songs on my playlist. They are there to represent those songs that have uplifted me when I needed it, and gave me something to "jam" to in the happy times. Like Shackles by Mary Mary. Go check it out.. If that doesn't help you celebrate- See Don Helms!

"Third Day" is a band from Columbus, GA that I was introduced to (not literally) by a great friend. I have had them with me at both times in my life and they have brought me joy and tears which helped bring the joy back. I was thinking of why they named their band "Third Day". It made me think of how things were in the beginning. Genesis 1:9-13 tells us what occured on the third day. You can go check it out, but I will help you out there. This is when God told the waters under the sky to gather in one place and let dry ground appear. Then he said the dry ground will be called "land", and the gathered waters be called "seas". Ground began to produce seed bearing vegetation, trees, etc.

The third day symbolizes for me a fantastic separation from what must have been a HUGE dangerous body of water, and created dry land that was safe. We were on vacation in Destin in July, and we rented a pontoon boat to take the kids out for the day and enjoy the water. I never thought I would be so glad to see land again! We navigated out into the largest part of a bay and the water changed from a dark blue to a light green color indicating that the land was coming to the surface. We slowed down out in the middle of the bay and since the land was so close to the surface we let the kids out with their vests on to swim and play. My brother-in-law Ken and I jumped in and found that the land wasn't as close as we thought, it was at least 10 to 12 feet deep. No big deal, right? We, the responsible adults, didn't have vests on- at least the two of us didn't. The ones still in the boat were brighter than this old hi-tech redneck and a Georgia Tech Honor Graduate! What we didn't realize was that in the middle of a large body of water, THERE IS A CURRENT. We noticed the kids kept floating away, so we began pushing the kids toward the boat to get them out of the current. They threw life vests to us, the two knucklehead adults, and as I got what I thought was the last child in the boat, I drifted and had to fight as hard as I could to get myself to saftey. How does this relate to life today? There are times when we think things look safe so we jump right in, without caution and find out once we are there that we are in serious trouble! We forget that God is there to help pull us out, if we are willing to let Him.
I fought as hard as I could on my stomach kicking and pulling with my arms. I looked back at my genious brother-in-law, he had just stopped trying and had his arms folded, lying on his back awaiting his pickup. I looked to my right and one of the kids still had not gotten back to the boat! Exhausted, I swam over, grabbed him (5 years old) and something told me to calm down, roll over on my back and hold him on my chest- and kick at a steady pace in the direction of the boat. I did just that. I felt no pain, only the punches from this 5 year old fighting me yelling "I don't want to get out yet!!!", God stepped in and gave me stregnth just as I asked for it! I made it to the boat, and gave one last push for his Dad to grab him. I moved around to the rear of the boat and climbed with legs of jelly up and out of the water, collapsed on the floor of the boat, and all I could say was- Wow, that was AWESOME!

My point being, I am learning to trust God for more and more daily. After all, he created all things. I guess I should trust Him to help me out every now and then. :-)
- Matt

Anonymous said...

Matt - you are in my thoughts and prayers - I was at that concert also - Steven Curtis Chapman, Third Day, Casting Crowns, many others or those that I listen to to try to help me get thru those days when the negative things in life threaten to overwhelm me - admiting you needed help and taking time for yourself is awesome - that took a lot of courage - best of luck to you - Linda